When I am gone

In a few days now it's been a year since horrible things happened. I don't think I will need to specify.
Apparently the nearest days are jubilee for other passings too.
of course it is sad. Of course it's ok to grieve.
what isn't ok, is worshipping the grief instead of celebrating the life that was.

I wouldn't have wanted that. So, for now until as long as Blogger is in function, I have my living will here.
It is not about money, books, clothes or other valuables. But;
The day it's my time to go just remember, don't count the days I've been away. Celebrate the days I was around.
Yours Truly.

Embracing the days of our lives

This is a story about an odd couple.
They had nothing in common, except where they lived, and that they had the same grandparents. They both lived away from home, in a big city far far away.

She was quite a bit younger than him.
One day she had bought 2 tickets to a concert she had dreamt about seeing for years and years. She had to travel quite a bit to get to the arena, booked flights, a little, cheap hotel room, and looked very much forward to it. Because it was a famous artist, and she expected her friends to want to go too, she didn't even begin to worry about who would go with her.

The city was so far away that she had to bring a passport.
First she asked her best friend to go with her. Her friend didn't want to travel that far, because she had a little baby. She asked her other friend, she didn't want to go. She asked her co worker, she was getting married the weekend after, and couldn't. Time went, and nobody wanted to go with her to the amazing concert.

Then she thought, why not ask my cousin? So she did. He wanted to go!

He didn't have flight tickets to the city far far away, but had a van, and drove for hours and hours to join her. He didn't have a hotel room, so she let him borrow the top mattress of the tiny bed, so he could have a bit of roof over his head. The hotel room was so small that the mattress almost didn't fit the floor. But that was ok.

They went out to see the big big city, far far away. It was a lovely place. They had nice things to eat, and even went to an amusement park. The park was very green. And had lots of exciting rides. For hours and hours the odd couple went on almost all the rides. For so long that they nearly forgot to go to the great concert.

Night came, the concert started, and it truly was an amazing one. They both danced, they sang and smiled. Time went, and once the concert was over, he drove back home, for hours and hours and hours. She went back to the hotel and had a few days by herself in the big big city, far far away. But it was all a very nice memory, and stood in her heart forever.

Years went by, they grew up, and didn't see much of each other. Then one night she recieved a text from him, "want to meet the best person in the world?" So she went to meet him. He had found a girl he had fallen in love with, and was very happy. They had a few drinks, and had yet again, a lovely night. Next summer she found out that he had married the girl.

On to the year after that again, she was going to a free concert in a park in the city in which she lived. First she went for a meal at a burger place, and in line she saw a familiar face. It was her cousin. He didn't seem happy. But she didn't comment this, his wife was there, as was some other relatives. Again, concert was nice, but not as great as the one they saw in the city far far away.

Next she heard, he had gotten a divorce from the girl. And he was yet again happy. He started on a degree, and looked forward to getting a more stable job. He fell in love again. All was good.

Then he went with his new love on a short bank holiday break to her home area. He loved riding his bike. And went for a ride. The roads were high standards, but quite a few tunnels. He did all the right things. And didn't see the big red van. The van apparently didn't see him either. And when they found him, his soul was with the angels.

She was visiting his parents and siblings when the priest came and told them. And couldn't believe what had happened. All those nice memories, and now she was the only one to keep them in her heart forever.

Rest in peace dear Cousin.

Darkness

I've got this darkness inside
And just can't see
How it can brighten up
Always trying to be
Someone cooler, on top of things
Happy and nice
But this darkness is 
My secret vice

All alone
In crowded rooms
Eating me up
Like a starving vulture
Guess it is
My human nature

Searching for something
But don't know why
Or what
Maybe I'm trying to
Find me